look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm really busy with my period
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