Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
