So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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