He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
