What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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