So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
