have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Less talking, more tequila
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
