I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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