Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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