My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
