idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
