it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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