he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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