I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
