then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize