dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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