I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You made out with two different species that night
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Panties = found
Randomize
