He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
