We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
