Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
