When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
