You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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