Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
