so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
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There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
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The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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