I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
