I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
