My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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