So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
