Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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