I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
