I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
