I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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