did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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