I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
