You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
