If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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