How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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