my sisters under your porch take her home
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
