apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
