I showed him my bush... on skype.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
