Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
