woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize