Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
