she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
