Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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