Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
