Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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