there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
