shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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