Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
