i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
