We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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