All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
