Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
