Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
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I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
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The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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