Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize