I CAN MOONWALK!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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