she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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