We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
its not stalking. its research.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
