Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
