mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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