maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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