Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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