He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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