dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
