i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Oh god it's open bar.
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