i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You're like the curious george of whores
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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