I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
